And so it begins….again…..

Today I’ve prepared my final draft, draft. Yes, that’s right, a draft of my draft and it’s final. Tomorrow I begin my re-write. I’m actually excited. I would have thought all the months I’ve spent writing this stupid proposal I would be sick of it. But I’m not. I’m excited. For the first time in about two months I have a message I want to send. I get it. I know what I want to say, how I want to say it and my draft has all the bits I need. I’ve incorporated the comments I want from the feedback I’ve received, cut a lot out the crap and done a full restructure. And I’m excited.

Tomorrow morning I will get up, make some hot water, and have the draft, draft open and a blank document and I will write. I know this is slightly insane, why not just edit the draft, draft. Well, because my brain doesn’t work that way. It works with the blank supported by the prepared. By tomorrow night I will have a proposal I am confident in, that I would be happy to give to my dad to read, and clearly explains my research, how I will do it, and then what it will do. Yes that’s right, not what I hope to do. What it will do. That’s how confident I am in my draft, draft.

This has been a long journey so god knows how the thesis will be……for those of you who are lovely and support me on FB, thank you, but don’t feel obliged…..I know this is painful! It’s a long seven years, if you need to save your strength feel free. I know I’m not submitted, or even finished on this proposal, but I feel close.

Talking of submitting, a very dear friend of mine, Bilal, submitted his thesis this week. He sent me a photo to prove it (I’m not posting here as I’m technologically challenged across devices and with WordPress on the iPad…). I also saw a Bear deliver an inspiring final seminar. It’s these wonderful people who inspire me. Thanks to you both.

Oh, and the paper I thought my collaborator and I had bailed on appeared for final edit so we are submitting! And he is amazing. He has made a silk purse beyond my wildest dreams. It will have my name on the front but I feel slightly like a fraud….he did most of the work. However, for our next paper (I hope there will be one because our data rocks) I will do more (but maybe that’s what we all say!).

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