Apparently crying is part of a PhD…..apparently. I just didn’t think it would come in week six! But now it has I feel better. There was a moment where I thought I wasn’t smart enough to do this as I’m struggling, like really struggling with all the theoretical paradigms. Then I did something important. I talked to two very smart people (thanks Penelope and Fanny) who have been here and done this. I then found a book (by accident) that started to put the theory stuff into words I understood.
The issue is that the book has clarified to me that I am going down the path of post-structuralism. This is not a path I thought I would be on. I thought I would be on a constructionism path, but apparently, I’m beyond even that. I’m so far off the conventional business PhD path that I’m past the structure. Of course, that’s not what post-structuralism is, but for today, it will do.
Anyway, now I’ve got a way forward I feel better. I do realise, now, the value of having people to listen to you have a whine, and the importance of reading the stuff that matches your brain processes, in combination with the stuff that doesn’t. I believe that might be a praxis where my learning will expand. Or maybe that’s my zone of proximal development (thought I’d throw some education stuff in – just for fun).
I still suck at theory, but maybe I suck a little less.